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Day 3: Capitalism: The system is broken

In Detention: Feb. 5, 2010

This is the latest blog post from a 27-year-old college graduate who ran a small construction clean-up company in Arizona until he was stopped by police for a traffic infraction in late summer of 2010. After Yogi (not his real name) was arrested and fingerprinted his information was shared with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). He was then transferred from jail to ICE custody because he lacked proper immigration papers. Yogi has lived in the United States since 1990

I’m 27 years old, this is my first blog.

It’s odd to think I am writing it from a jail cell.

Although, I should mention that officially I am not a prisoner, I am a detainee. Much like the people held in Guantanamo, I suppose, but my charge isn’t terrorism. My main charge is not being a US Citizen.

My story is much the same as many kids who grow up in the US, Honor Roll K-12, captain of Football and Wrestling teams. Then off to college I went to learn and prepare how to master the “Real World”. Except my story is different, like the fact that I have been adopted twice or that I was born in Mexico.

The latter point drastically changes my current situation. It makes me, shall we say, susceptible to deportation from the country I grew up in. Maybe you didn’t know a detention center like this existed. I know I didn’t. And yet, here I sit within a maximum-security facility, where hundreds of ICE detainees are housed. And my hope is that my writing this blog will bring awareness to something that is very real.

From in here, this whole experience seems surreal, I like many of the men in here, don’t believe imprisonment should be the way about solving this migration issue. Although at the moment I have no solution either. Al I know is that in my cell alone, there are two men who have had their green cards for 24 and 30 years, respectively, after 5 years with permanent residency people are eligible to apply for citizenship, but after 20 you would think it should be automatic.

I guess that just is another question I would like to put out in the universe.

Regardless of what your view is on the subject, I am sure you believe there needs to be some kind of reform or solution. Unmistakably, I believe that there are too many families at stake not to give an opportunity to those hardworking individuals who have spent decades contributing to this country without status. How is it just for people to be ineligible, or have to wait 15 to 20 years, to become permanent residents after all those years of struggling here. Why do people have to be arrested and humiliated to have the opportunity of a work permit? In the respect I agree with many politicians and like other folks like to say, the system is broken.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a system that will gladly throw anyone in jail for not being born in this country (U.S.) even if this country (U.S.) is all they’ve ever known as their home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a character within my mind that sees differences in people according to the color of their skin to such a degree that I’ve not cared whether they are able to eat, have clean water to drink and/or a home to live in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system that will throw a person in jail for an undetermined amount of time, walk away without questioning their acts and then claim we live in the land of the free.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where people are so afraid of each other that they will turn each other in to authorities as being an ‘alien’ because in their ‘mind’ they think they’re having to pay someone’s way – instead of realizing that the only thing they’re paying for, is the ways of their own acceptance and allowance of a capitalistic money system that is set up to support only the rich.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system that takes pride in humiliating it’s people using our current world/money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system that supports the belief that incompatible cultures among us are being sewn with the seeds of cancer into the social fabric of society simply because of the difference in our skin color and our language wherein we’ve not seen/realized or understood that is through hate, anger, greed and spite that man has manifested cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that puts immigrants and blue collar criminals in jail/prison for years on end, but does nothing to stop the white collar crime of lobbyist who daily manipulate the system and keep the elite of this world rich.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a capitalistic system based upon the fact that I was ‘told’ it was the best for all, when clearly capitalism only supports the rich, while the majority are struggling in/as slaves to the current money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not educate and investigate for myself how an Equal Money system will support our world according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the lie that says ‘this land is your land’, ‘this land is my land’, when the fact is this land is earth and is here for everyone, not just those with money/power/greed.

I commit myself to show that humans are living mind consciousness systems, pre-programmed to act in hate, greed and spite towards each other to remain enslaved to our current world/money system.

I commit myself to show that All Life is created Equal and that No one is free until All are Free to exist here and support themselves as Equals.

I commit myself to show that in order to change our current money/world system requires that we Stop our nature as greed and stand together as a group in support of an Equal Money system.

I commit myself to show that through self-forgiveness human nature can change.

I commit myself to teaching children that life is about giving as one wishes to receive.

I commit myself to teaching children that we are capable in self-honesty to direct ourselves as a humanity to create Heaven on Earth beginning first with Equal Money.

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Day 2: Here’s to Capitalism


Vietnam Vet
“There were two airfields where you could land
when they sent you to Vietnam.
We were supposed to fly into Da Nang, that’s up north,
but when we got there they were shellin’ the airfield.
Man, it looked like the Fourth of July down there.
We thought, “Oh shit, they’re gonna wait
for the firing to stop, to swoop down
and bring us into that!”
But after an hour the firing didn’t stop,
and they decided to fly us down south to Saigon.
We were all scared, and when we landed
we ran crouched down from the plane to the airport.
When they sent me to a unit out in the field
we got in some tough firefights,
and after one where we lost a lot of guys
I couldn’t stop shakin’.
A buddy saw it, asked me
if I wanted something to take care of that,
and took out some heroin.
Back home I had smoked some reefer
and snorted both cocaine and heroin a few times,
but I never fired drugs before.
He showed me how to shoot up
and I felt better, it calmed me down.
After a while we didn’t think much about home:
It was like we were on a different planet,
and if we talked about goin’ home,
we said, “When we go back to the world.”
At first I used drugs after combat,
but then I started bringing’ them into the field.
I carried a set of works in my boot
and it helped you function.
If a buddy got killed,
it bothered you and you felt bad,
but when they put him in a bag and flew him out,
you didn’t think about it.
There was a group of us usin’ drugs,
and with that fear gone
we didn’t mind volunteerin’ for wild things.
Our company commander was amazed;
he thought we were a bunch of crazy muthafuckers.
After they sent us home I felt strange,
like I didn’t fit in.
I was feelin’ patriotice because of what we’d been through,
but I could see people weren’t on that kind of time.
I didn’t talk about it
but it fucked with me,
and I still had my habit.
At first I could handle it with my pay,
but it got too much: I did some stickups,
got jammed, and came here.
I’ve been off drugs for a while now
and I’m learnin’ to handle things without them.”
——————————————————
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system in which people believe that war is an inevitable part of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where what happens in war creates friction as war within, to such a degree that those who are trained to protect a country end up in prisons as the criminal to the country.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system that deliberately trains people to kill women and children when necessary in war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where soldiers go through extensive mental and physical preparation before becoming a soldier because who we are as a human being, in how we experience ourselves, become extremely influenced and affected when we see and are directly confronted with a situation of war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system whereby people define themselves as being a Vietnam vet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system in which soldiers have to ‘take care of their own’, in secret, as a way of protecting the honor of their fellow soldier.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world/money system that deliberately places people in situations where we have to defend and protect ourselves from each other such as in war which take us into mental realities that we are in no way prepared for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have the courage and will within me as me, to stand up and say: Till here no further – and instead I have accepted and allowed myself to conform, shape and condition myself according to what is necessary to survive within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted, obsessed and possessed in order to meet the necessary requirements of surviving within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated into believing that war is necessary based upon threats of implementing communism, attacks by a country on it’s people, and/or threats of weapons of mass destruction – all of which have been the cause and/or reason given as an excuse to war against each other in the name of greed/profit/money/control/power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a system through believing that I require government to protect me – when in fact, evil is perpetrated as a way of life lived within our current world/government/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a self defined pattern where I’ve judged war within my mind through polarity friction and conflict between what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world/money system where heroin becomes the hero in the avoidance of self, thus is a fatal recurrence within existence where we continue to create conditions for our own continuance of war to/towards one another in polarities of right vs wrong and good vs evil, for the sake of profiting resources/money over our neighbour – instead of standing equal and one in support of each other as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where we create wars to boost the economy in one country while creating the opposite polarity of lack in another country, all the while allowing major corporations to make a killing while we kill each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be victimized through my own acceptance of war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world/money system that offers no assistance and support for how to deal with the stress and the shit that goes on in our heads as we try and make sense of the insanity that exists within our world.

I commit myself to show how through the material from Desteni Universe and Desteni I Process, one learns how to work with patterns and systems within and as self – where self will acquire the necessary tools to identify recurring problems that cause friction within one’s life in specificity and detail. Where when old patterns which do not serve us are gone, we can design ourselves anew and gain and understanding into how to consider our reality as a whole, and how to position ourselves for the ultimate outcome that is best for all.

I commit myself to show through writing and self-forgiveness how one is able to in self-honesty direct self through self-corrective application, thus develop trust in/as self to assist self with/as courage to support All life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to show how every war throughout history have been a violation against the meaning of life within a game of profit where murdering mass numbers of people is considered a legal way for the rich to remain wealthy.

I commit myself to show how there may not be a war right outside my front door, however, there is a war within ourselves. Where there is No mistaking it, Life itself has been under attack since the beginning of time through human nature as greed, and that the only Solution to stop us from wiping ourselves off the face of the planet, is to stand together as a group and support a system of Equality.

I commit myself to show how we must be prepared to face our responsibilities Not through acts of violence, but through an act of Real Love through self-responsibility, in coming together as Mankind within the Principle of Equality and standing up for and as All as One as Equal.

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Day 1: Stayin’ Out

“Most guys in here
are assholes, drug addicts, or faggots.
They stand by the window
watchin’ the front gate sayin’,
“Muthafucker gettin’ out.
Muthafucker gettin’ out,”
but they don’t talk about nuthin’ but
who’s got the best dope,
which basketball player’s got
the biggest hands,
an’ how to do stickups without gettin’ caught.
When them muthafuckers get out,
they won’t stay on the street.
They’ll be back.
When I get out
I ain’t comin’ back.”

*Exerpt from the book: “Voices Behind the Wall – Ninety Prison Stories” ~ by John P. Farrell, a prison psychologist who for years has been collecting stories from prison inmates.

*The man/prisoner who wrote ‘Stayin Out’, often mocked other inmates who did not share his conviction in believing he wasn’t ‘comin’ back’. After a short  parole, he committed a serious crime and returned to prison with a sixty-year sentence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within our world/money system as a package, an image which I present myself as to the world through and as my physical appearance, style and personality, specifically because if I am small and quiet, others take advantage of the package I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to over signify, which creates the appearance of me as being a snitch therefore acts of scaling the fish threatens my survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the voice that labels others according to the survival techniques used by the human who is barely surviving within our current money system – instead, I stop – I breathe. I recognize myself within the name callling, (blame) that I’ve hid myself within – because in self-honesty – I see that the fear I reflected through my words at you in blame was only me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle to survive for so long that I didn’t stop to consider that my fear of my future has been based on a fear of the unknown and thus I never realized that I’ve been livin’ on borrowed time in and as self-manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the rehabilitation process for those who’ve committed crimes according to the laws of our current world/money system, does Not have to be backed in abuse and/or swift punishment and stiffer sentences – nor do we require a three-time-loser law for repeat offenders, when what every living being requires is the ability to care for ourselves in dignity with a real solution that will provide everybody with the ability to equalize themselves within thus change our without – thus we stop existing’ within’ the prison of and as our mind and without as our fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where there are approximately two million people in prisons across the United States alone, making it the country with the largest prison population in the world with the highest incarceration rate in the world – where instead of assisting people with a real solution to support themselves – such as an Equal Money system – we’re paying Government run facilities to house people in cheap living conditions where profit is the name of the game within the multimillion dollar business of owning/operating a prison facility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how our world/money system practically eats people alive within our prisons and jails while we stand by and accept and allow it because we justify within our minds that we would never do anything ‘like that’, when in fact most of us have committed similar crimes such as shoplifting and/or the purchase of marijuana for example – which is why plenty of people are currently sitting in a prison or jail cell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that prisoners are segregated by sexual orientation, crime and race, where if you’re a homosexual, you’re classified to the “SNY YARD.”, which stands for ‘sensitive needs yard’ and consists of prisoners who may be endangered in the company of the general population – however, the SNY which often includes gays, gang dropouts and child molesters, is described as living in Jurassic Park.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that once you get to prison you have to join a gang – where you have no choice in a population where the term ‘gang’ has a whole different meaning – where eight types of gangs exist – the Whites, Blacks, Native Americans, Southern Mexicans, Northern Mexicans, Piasa Mexicans, Bulldogs and ‘The Others’.

*The prison system in California is very diverse because in 2011 there were 143,643 prisoners in state prisons designed to hold 84,130 – thus – one’s chose of what group of people one hangs around with, is a decision that is often a deadly one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to abdicate our choice within our world causes experiences which create illusions within our mind that someone else has created the experience we’re having in which caused a response within our life we didn’t like – so we then blame others for our own abdication of how and what we choose to accept and allow and be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that blame is what we use against each other more than anything because our pre-programming mind as consciousness always wants to be right and whether we’re blaming ourself or another doesn’t matter because blame is blame and the effect is the same because in that we’re existing within a belief that we’re not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame against myself or another within the belief that I’m not good enough and thus not responsible for my own life experience and/or the creation of it, thus I’ve existed within repeated offenses of self-defeating behaviour which causes me to fear succeeding and thus always experiencing myself as failing.

I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money system that will assist people in realizing that to assist others is in fact assisting self.

I commit myself to assisting us as a humanity to see/realize and understand that there is a part of each one us within everything and everyone existing within our reality, thus when we accept and allow even so much as one mini-microbe of ourselves to in any way, whether known or unknown to us to suffer, in that moment, we’re giving permission for the same to exist within and as/to ourselves.

I commit myself to the education of the human in assisting them to realize their utmost potential as life in seeing how it exists through the giving of self to and as each other according to the facts of life our Earth provides us with – facts that show how we are taught how to live through and as examples in/of fear, where infear we guard ourselves with money and have thus confined ourselves upon Earth within our own mind-made prisons – killing what it real as our physical body and our physical reality through isolating ourselves in and as spiritual escapes – instead of understanding the problem that faces our world – that when we change the rules that have created the problem, which is money, we will thus stop and take self-responsibility for ourself and each other as life and the solution of/as Equal Money will assist us to breathe life into us each one as existence, neighbors, Equal and One.

The following Blogs are a Must Read for further clarity!

Crime’s Journey to Life – Day 8: International Crime Research – Bi-Polar Disorders and Violent Crimes Part 1

Crime’s Journey to Life – Day 9: International Crime research – Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2

Heaven’s Journey to Life –  DAY 8: How do we Create/Manifest ‘Who we Are’?

Heaven’s Journey to Life – As Within = So Without: DAY 12

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 3: Resistance to Change

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 23: Blow My Mind Please

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 47: The Evil Individual

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