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Day 1: Stayin’ Out

“Most guys in here
are assholes, drug addicts, or faggots.
They stand by the window
watchin’ the front gate sayin’,
“Muthafucker gettin’ out.
Muthafucker gettin’ out,”
but they don’t talk about nuthin’ but
who’s got the best dope,
which basketball player’s got
the biggest hands,
an’ how to do stickups without gettin’ caught.
When them muthafuckers get out,
they won’t stay on the street.
They’ll be back.
When I get out
I ain’t comin’ back.”

*Exerpt from the book: “Voices Behind the Wall – Ninety Prison Stories” ~ by John P. Farrell, a prison psychologist who for years has been collecting stories from prison inmates.

*The man/prisoner who wrote ‘Stayin Out’, often mocked other inmates who did not share his conviction in believing he wasn’t ‘comin’ back’. After a short  parole, he committed a serious crime and returned to prison with a sixty-year sentence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within our world/money system as a package, an image which I present myself as to the world through and as my physical appearance, style and personality, specifically because if I am small and quiet, others take advantage of the package I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to over signify, which creates the appearance of me as being a snitch therefore acts of scaling the fish threatens my survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the voice that labels others according to the survival techniques used by the human who is barely surviving within our current money system – instead, I stop – I breathe. I recognize myself within the name callling, (blame) that I’ve hid myself within – because in self-honesty – I see that the fear I reflected through my words at you in blame was only me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle to survive for so long that I didn’t stop to consider that my fear of my future has been based on a fear of the unknown and thus I never realized that I’ve been livin’ on borrowed time in and as self-manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the rehabilitation process for those who’ve committed crimes according to the laws of our current world/money system, does Not have to be backed in abuse and/or swift punishment and stiffer sentences – nor do we require a three-time-loser law for repeat offenders, when what every living being requires is the ability to care for ourselves in dignity with a real solution that will provide everybody with the ability to equalize themselves within thus change our without – thus we stop existing’ within’ the prison of and as our mind and without as our fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where there are approximately two million people in prisons across the United States alone, making it the country with the largest prison population in the world with the highest incarceration rate in the world – where instead of assisting people with a real solution to support themselves – such as an Equal Money system – we’re paying Government run facilities to house people in cheap living conditions where profit is the name of the game within the multimillion dollar business of owning/operating a prison facility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how our world/money system practically eats people alive within our prisons and jails while we stand by and accept and allow it because we justify within our minds that we would never do anything ‘like that’, when in fact most of us have committed similar crimes such as shoplifting and/or the purchase of marijuana for example – which is why plenty of people are currently sitting in a prison or jail cell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that prisoners are segregated by sexual orientation, crime and race, where if you’re a homosexual, you’re classified to the “SNY YARD.”, which stands for ‘sensitive needs yard’ and consists of prisoners who may be endangered in the company of the general population – however, the SNY which often includes gays, gang dropouts and child molesters, is described as living in Jurassic Park.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that once you get to prison you have to join a gang – where you have no choice in a population where the term ‘gang’ has a whole different meaning – where eight types of gangs exist – the Whites, Blacks, Native Americans, Southern Mexicans, Northern Mexicans, Piasa Mexicans, Bulldogs and ‘The Others’.

*The prison system in California is very diverse because in 2011 there were 143,643 prisoners in state prisons designed to hold 84,130 – thus – one’s chose of what group of people one hangs around with, is a decision that is often a deadly one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to abdicate our choice within our world causes experiences which create illusions within our mind that someone else has created the experience we’re having in which caused a response within our life we didn’t like – so we then blame others for our own abdication of how and what we choose to accept and allow and be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that blame is what we use against each other more than anything because our pre-programming mind as consciousness always wants to be right and whether we’re blaming ourself or another doesn’t matter because blame is blame and the effect is the same because in that we’re existing within a belief that we’re not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame against myself or another within the belief that I’m not good enough and thus not responsible for my own life experience and/or the creation of it, thus I’ve existed within repeated offenses of self-defeating behaviour which causes me to fear succeeding and thus always experiencing myself as failing.

I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money system that will assist people in realizing that to assist others is in fact assisting self.

I commit myself to assisting us as a humanity to see/realize and understand that there is a part of each one us within everything and everyone existing within our reality, thus when we accept and allow even so much as one mini-microbe of ourselves to in any way, whether known or unknown to us to suffer, in that moment, we’re giving permission for the same to exist within and as/to ourselves.

I commit myself to the education of the human in assisting them to realize their utmost potential as life in seeing how it exists through the giving of self to and as each other according to the facts of life our Earth provides us with – facts that show how we are taught how to live through and as examples in/of fear, where infear we guard ourselves with money and have thus confined ourselves upon Earth within our own mind-made prisons – killing what it real as our physical body and our physical reality through isolating ourselves in and as spiritual escapes – instead of understanding the problem that faces our world – that when we change the rules that have created the problem, which is money, we will thus stop and take self-responsibility for ourself and each other as life and the solution of/as Equal Money will assist us to breathe life into us each one as existence, neighbors, Equal and One.

The following Blogs are a Must Read for further clarity!

Crime’s Journey to Life – Day 8: International Crime Research – Bi-Polar Disorders and Violent Crimes Part 1

Crime’s Journey to Life – Day 9: International Crime research – Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2

Heaven’s Journey to Life –  DAY 8: How do we Create/Manifest ‘Who we Are’?

Heaven’s Journey to Life – As Within = So Without: DAY 12

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 3: Resistance to Change

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 23: Blow My Mind Please

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 47: The Evil Individual


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